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This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Toast
Toasts
Safe
Feels

More quotes by Daniel Handler

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If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.
Daniel Handler
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My general writing preface is to write an outline and then ignore about half of it, both on a micro level with the individual book, and on a macro level with the series as a whole, and that's pretty much what's happened.
Daniel Handler
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This is love if it's not with you, a terrible fiery something that makes people look away, and it feels like a punch in the throat.
Daniel Handler
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Twenty-six,” you said. “One for each day we’ve been together, Min.”Somebody oohed. Somebody shushed them. “And I hope that someday I’ll do another something stupid and I’ll have to say it a million times because that’s how long it’ll be, together with you, Min. With you.
Daniel Handler
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The idea that the curtain rises on what is often more or less a happy scene, and it will fall just a few hours later, and everyone will be dead or have gone mad... I find that kind of narrative very appealing.
Daniel Handler
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We are a nation of children letting horrible things happen, and flunking Calc.
Daniel Handler
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There is no way of knowing for sure whether or not you can trust someone, for the simple reason that circumstances change all of the time.
Daniel Handler
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All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.
Daniel Handler
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You know I want to be a director, but you could never truly see the movies in my head and that, Ed, is why we broke up.
Daniel Handler
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A successful villain should have all these things at his or her villainous fingertips, or else give up villainy altogether and try to lead a life of decency, integrity, and kindness, which is much more challenging and noble, if not always quite as exciting.
Daniel Handler
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Figuratively, they escaped from Cout Olaf and their miserable existence. They did not literally escape, because they were still in his house and vulnerable to Olaf's evil in loco parentis ways.
Daniel Handler
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They say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this place where the buses are slow and most of the cute ones are gay.
Daniel Handler
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And when love is over when the diner of love seems closed from the outside you want all those hours back along with anything you left at the lover’s house and maybe a couple of things which aren’t technically yours on the grounds that you wasted a portion of your life and those hours have all gone southside.
Daniel Handler
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Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular intervals and remind them that time is passing even more slowly than it seems.
Daniel Handler
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You can't believe everything you read.
Daniel Handler
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There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize.
Daniel Handler
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Just because something is typed-whether it is typed on a business card or typed in a newspaper or book-this does not mean that it is true.
Daniel Handler
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Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.
Daniel Handler
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You may be right,' she said, a phrase which here meant 'I’m wrong, but I don’t have the courage to say so.
Daniel Handler
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And then like a song we'd forgotten was even on the mix, you stepped into the house and my whole life.
Daniel Handler