Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Every night I give a violin recital for six hours, and attendance is mandatory. The word 'mandatory' means that if you don't show up, you have to buy me a large bag of candy and watch me eat it.
Daniel Handler
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Means
Bags
Night
Six
Shows
Large
Recital
Give
Watches
Recitals
Giving
Watch
Mandatory
Mean
Word
Attendance
Every
Hours
Violin
Show
Candy
More quotes by Daniel Handler
...there's not enough ink and paper to say all I wanted.
Daniel Handler
Every time you enter a library you might say to yourself, The world is quiet here, as a sort of pledge proclaiming reading to be the greater good.
Daniel Handler
I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.
Daniel Handler
Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.
Daniel Handler
Xenial' is a word which refers to the giving of gifts to strangers. . . . I know that having a good vocabulary doesn't guarantee that I'm a good person. . . . But it does mean I've read a great deal. And in my experience, well-read people are less likely to be evil.
Daniel Handler
For Beatrice, summer without you is as cold as winter. Winter without you, is even colder.
Daniel Handler
Count Olaf certainly does sound evil. Imagine forcing children to stand near a stove!
Daniel Handler
Nobody wants to hear that you will try your best. It is the wrong thing to say. It is like saying 'I probably won't hit you with a shovel.' Suddenly everyone is afraid you will do the opposite.
Daniel Handler
As I am sure you know, when people say 'It's my pleasure,' they usually mean something along the lines of, 'There's nothing on Earth I would rather do less.' [...]
Daniel Handler
I hadn't even been looking, not for you, and now you were my heart's desire.
Daniel Handler
If only Uncle Monty knew what we know, Violet said, and Stephano knew that he knew what we know. But Uncle Monty doesn't know what we know, and Stephano knows that he doesn't know what we know. I know, Klause said. I know you know, Violet said
Daniel Handler
I kind of always think my work is unfilmable, and when I meet people who are interested in filming it, I'm always stunned.
Daniel Handler
Death is something you cannot escape, such as death, or a cheesecake that has curdled, both of which always turn up sooner later.
Daniel Handler
I gasped and pointed the way. I gave you an adventure, Ed, right in front of you but you never saw it until I showed you, and that's why we broke up.
Daniel Handler
We need things, and the opposite of them, and we are so rarely completely comfortable.
Daniel Handler
Wishing, like sipping a glass of punch, or pulling aside a bearskin rug in order to access a hidden trapdoor in the floor, is merely a quiet way to spend one's time before the candles are extinguished on one's birthday cake.
Daniel Handler
Either you have the feeling or you don't. Hawk Davies
Daniel Handler
Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing, because it can disappear for a long time, and then pop back up when you least expect it.
Daniel Handler
Your initial opinion on just about anything may change over time.
Daniel Handler
People don't always get what they deserve in this world.
Daniel Handler