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Can't we sleep ten minutes more? I was having a lovely dream about sneezing without covering my mouth, and giving everybody germs.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Sleep
Sneezing
Everybody
Germs
Dream
Covering
Without
Mouth
Giving
Lovely
Mouths
Ten
Minutes
More quotes by Daniel Handler
I do what I do, I said, in order to do something else.
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Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular intervals and remind them that time is passing even more slowly than it seems.
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Hal is on his way. The nurse announced reentering the room.
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Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.
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Keep anyone with whom you can read in silence.
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Anyone who thinks the pen is mightier than the sword has not been stabbed with both.
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Everybody has a theory.
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I can't imagine why you would want to take your child to see what the career of a writer is like, because it mostly consists of sitting in a room typing, or going to the library and looking something up. Those are not exciting things to watch.
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Every night I give a violin recital for six hours, and attendance is mandatory. The word 'mandatory' means that if you don't show up, you have to buy me a large bag of candy and watch me eat it.
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Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree, because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch, or you might simply get covered in sap, and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors, where it is harder to get a splinter.
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It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.
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It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.
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There are some secrets you want to keep to yourself, even if they don't matter. They might only matter if you keep them secret.
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Dead women tell no tales. Sad men write them down.
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...the moron who thought love was forever.
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who would dare think that, forever? Some idiot girl who wouldn’t know how things played out.
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Tell me what it is, or prepare to eat harpoon.
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I have a dream of what would have happened if what happened instead hadn't.
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Complimenting someone in an exaggerated way is known as flattery, and flattery will generally get you anything you want.
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The whole thing of what I’ve been trying,” you said, “is that you’re different, and you keep asking about the other girls, but what I mean is that I don’t think about them, because of the way you are.
Daniel Handler
