Quote

Can't we sleep ten minutes more? I was having a lovely dream about sneezing without covering my mouth, and giving everybody germs.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Everybody
Germs
Dream
Covering
Without
Mouth
Giving
Lovely
Mouths
Ten
Minutes
Sleep
Sneezing

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Lately it has become more and more difficult to attend dinner parties without the evening ending in gunfire or tapioca.
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My general writing preface is to write an outline and then ignore about half of it, both on a micro level with the individual book, and on a macro level with the series as a whole, and that's pretty much what's happened.
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I found powerful the idea that everything we have is, in effect, stolen from everybody else.
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Sometimes, even the best of plans will occur to you when it is too late.
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...in life it is often the tiny details that end up being the most important.
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There is no worse sound in the world than someone who cannot play the violin but insists on doing so anyway.
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There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
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There are two types of panicking: standing still and not saying a word, and leaping all over the place babbling anything that comes into your head.
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If you have ever had a miserable experience, then you have probably had it said to you that you would feel better in the morning. This, of course, is utter nonsense, because a miserable experience remains a miserable experience even on the loveliest of morning.
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It is very frustrating not to be understood in this world. If you say one thing and keep being told that you mean something else, it can make you want to scream. But somewhere in the world there is a place for all of us, whether you are an electric form of decoration, peppermint-scented sweet, a source of timber, or a potato pancake.
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I liked, I admit, that we didn’t pretend there hadn’t been other girls. There was always a girl on you in the halls at school, like they came free with a backpack.
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The Basic Eight and Watch Your Mouth both have first-person voices, and I ended up investigating those voices and investing so much in them that I think many people took them more seriously than they ought to have.
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Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junkmail. You can't be ready for such a thing any more than salt water taffy gets you ready for the ocean.
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The rinsed foam swirled into one drain that always clogged come October when the maples dropped Canadian propaganda over everything.
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When do you learn that the world, like any diner worth its salt, is open twenty-four hours a day?
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I think if I were walking someplace and I saw a corpse my brain would tell me it was a million things before I believed it was a corpse.
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Sometimes words are not enough.
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This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie.
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I want to love you and take you pretty places. Yes, I have things wrong, but also I can walk through walls if you'll let me show you.
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I'm not very good at the accordion. If I played guitar, I wouldn't be on anyone's album. But because I play the accordion and no one else does, I end up doing strange things.
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