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After a certain age, you couldn't even say where you were from. You went someplace, and lived there. And then you went someplace else.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Even
Someplace
Lived
Couldn
Went
Age
Else
Certain

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Mostly, it's flattering to meet fans. As long as it's in a planned, professional meeting, rather than, say, someone dropping by my home, which is not as pleasant.
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Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular intervals and remind them that time is passing even more slowly than it seems.
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I stayed there loving you, though the love made me, not sad but I guess melancholy, for a reason I couldn’t point to.
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For Beatrice- My love for you shall live forever. You, however, did not.
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Complimenting someone in an exaggerated way is known as flattery, and flattery will generally get you anything you want.
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Count Olaf sounds like an awful person. I hope he is torn apart by wild animals someday. Wouldn't that be satisfying?
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Nobody wants to hear that you will try your best. It is the wrong thing to say. It is like saying 'I probably won't hit you with a shovel.' Suddenly everyone is afraid you will do the opposite.
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I think I’ve always believed that there is one person in the universe who you’re truly meant for–for whom you are truly meant–and the fact that sometimes there are two or even more people on the earth you can fall in love with really bothers me. It suggests that if you work hard you can be meant for anyone.
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Sometimes words are not enough.
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Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junkmail. You can't be ready for such a thing any more than salt water taffy gets you ready for the ocean.
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I hadn't even been looking, not for you, and now you were my heart's desire.
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There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
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Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.
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Wherever it's good, whatever strange, faraway land, let's go there, let's stay in that place alone.
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Count Olaf certainly does sound evil. Imagine forcing children to stand near a stove!
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One has to adopt a sort of Zen calm, in which you know you wrote the best book that you could at the time.
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It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.
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It is not the diamonds or the birds, the people or the potatoes, it is not any of the nouns. The miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done. It is the way love gets done despite every catastrophe.
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Get out of my way, you cakesniffers!” said a rude, violent, and filthy little girl, shoving the Baudelaire orphans aside as she dashed by.
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We are a nation of children letting horrible things happen, and flunking Calc.
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