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Just because something is typed-whether it is typed on a business card or typed in a newspaper or book-this does not mean that it is true.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Doe
Newspaper
Book
Journalism
Mean
Cards
Writing
Newspapers
Something
Whether
Business
Typed
True
Typography
Truth
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More quotes by Daniel Handler

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When you start reading nonfiction books about piracy, you realize that it's actually just a history of desperate people.
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I kind of always think my work is unfilmable, and when I meet people who are interested in filming it, I'm always stunned.
Daniel Handler
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Frustration is an interesting emotional state, because it tends to bring out the worst in whoever is frustrated.
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You should never stick something that you are allergic to into your mouth, especially if that thing is cats.
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When do you learn that the world, like any diner worth its salt, is open twenty-four hours a day?
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I’m happier than a pig eating bacon!
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After a certain age, you couldn't even say where you were from. You went someplace, and lived there. And then you went someplace else.
Daniel Handler
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The thing you hope will never happen to you might just happen to someone else instead, who has been spending their life dreading the thing that will happen to you.
Daniel Handler
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Tell me what it is, or prepare to eat harpoon.
Daniel Handler
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Lemony Snicket. Now, I'm told - the books, of course, starting from the very first one, became hugely popular, selling millions and millions. And I understand that when you used to go around to talk to your very young fans, you would appear as Lemony Snicket's representative or agent.
Daniel Handler
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Death is something you cannot escape, such as death, or a cheesecake that has curdled, both of which always turn up sooner later.
Daniel Handler
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There are some who go through life with a shadow hanging over them, particularly if they live in a building which has long wide awnings.
Daniel Handler
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There are so many movies like this, where you thought you were smarter than the screen but the director was smarter than you, of course he's the one, of course it was a dream, of course she's dead, of course, it's hidden right there, of course it's the truth and you in your seat have failed to notice in the dark.
Daniel Handler
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I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.
Daniel Handler
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Announcing your death should be like announcing that you are a lunar moth: It must be done quietly or it will not be believed.
Daniel Handler
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Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junkmail. You can't be ready for such a thing any more than salt water taffy gets you ready for the ocean.
Daniel Handler
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And then like a song we'd forgotten was even on the mix, you stepped into the house and my whole life.
Daniel Handler
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Is it fair for the bears to come down to where humans live, looking for food? Is it fair for the Duke's soldiers to shoot at them? Is it fair for the bears to crush them with giant snowballs? Often, if you point out something that isn't fair, someone will reply, Life isn't fair. What is to be done with such people?
Daniel Handler
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The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.
Daniel Handler
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If only Uncle Monty knew what we know, Violet said, and Stephano knew that he knew what we know. But Uncle Monty doesn't know what we know, and Stephano knows that he doesn't know what we know. I know, Klause said. I know you know, Violet said
Daniel Handler