Quote

If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed, but most of us would say something more along the lines of, Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Something
Asks
Optimism
Would
Voice
Pleasant
Left
Anymore
Alligator
Ever
Along
Chewed
Wells
Arms
Alligators
Might
Nobody
Handed
Well
Least
Optimist
Right
Lines
Hopeful

More quotes by Daniel Handler

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When you say, History is written by the winners, you like to think about someone who isn't you. You want to think, Oh, that's the juggernaut I'm standing against. But you're probably part of it.
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Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing, because it can disappear for a long time, and then pop back up when you least expect it.
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Wherever it's good, whatever strange, faraway land, let's go there, let's stay in that place alone.
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Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
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If you enjoy books with happy endings than you are better off reading some other book.
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They say in every library there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire in the mind.
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One wanders through life as if wandering through a field in the dark of night, wearing a blindfold and very heavy shoes, with a poisonous toad waiting patiently beneath a clump of weeds, knowing full well that eventually you will step on him.
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Even the best plans can change if there's an accident.
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In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle.
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They say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this place where the buses are slow and most of the cute ones are gay.
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After a certain age, you couldn't even say where you were from. You went someplace, and lived there. And then you went someplace else.
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I’m happier than a pig eating bacon!
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Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they present themselves.
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Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.
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For Beatrice - you will always be in my mind, in my heart and in your grave.
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Or why you are wearing a picture of Santa Clause on you shirts, but-” “It’s Herman Melville.
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The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman-- it might be embarrassing to explain, but it would be very unusual to get them confused.
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When do you learn that the world, like any diner worth its salt, is open twenty-four hours a day?
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No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don't read is often as important as what you do read.
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Count Olaf certainly does sound evil. Imagine forcing children to stand near a stove!
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