Quote

If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed, but most of us would say something more along the lines of, Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!

Daniel Handler

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Left
Anymore
Alligator
Ever
Along
Chewed
Wells
Arms
Alligators
Might
Nobody
Handed
Well
Least
Optimist
Right
Lines
Hopeful
Something
Asks
Optimism
Would
Voice
Pleasant

More quotes by Daniel Handler

Image
It is likely I will die next to a pile of things I was meaning to read.
Daniel Handler
Image
It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches.
Daniel Handler
Image
This feeling is not unlike the sinking in one's stomach when one is in an elevator that suddenly goes down, or when you are snug in your bed and your closet door suddenly creaks open to reveal the person who has been hiding there.
Daniel Handler
Image
For Beatrice, when we first met, I was lonely, and you were pretty. Now I am pretty lonely.
Daniel Handler
Image
Even the best plans can change if there's an accident.
Daniel Handler
Image
In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied I love you back and not I love your back before you continue the conversation.
Daniel Handler
Image
The sea is nothing but a library of all the tears in history.
Daniel Handler
Image
A mystery is solved with a story.
Daniel Handler
Image
We are a nation of children letting horrible things happen, and flunking Calc.
Daniel Handler
Image
...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.
Daniel Handler
Image
With the publishing of The Basic Eight, it was often assumed that I was really immature and callow, and with the publishing of Watch Your Mouth, it was assumed that I was oversexualized, and with Lemony Snicket, it's often assumed that I'm erudite and depressed. But all the voices more or less came naturally to me.
Daniel Handler
Image
It is not always the job of people shouting outside impressive buildings to solve problems. It is often the job of the people inside, who have paper, pens, desks, and an impressive view.
Daniel Handler
Image
I can't think of a story that doesn't have something terrible in it. Otherwise, it's dull. So when I embarked into the world of picture books, my first thought was to do something about the dark.
Daniel Handler
Image
The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.
Daniel Handler
Image
This is love, to sit with someone you've known forever in a place you've been meaning to go, and watching as their life happens to them until you stand up and it's time to go.
Daniel Handler
Image
There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, or liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal.
Daniel Handler
Image
This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.
Daniel Handler
Image
With a library it is easier to hope for serendipity than to look for a precise answer.
Daniel Handler
Image
Well-read people are less likely to be evil.
Daniel Handler
Image
If you are interested in happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book. In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle. This is because not very many happy things happened in the lives of the three Baudelaire youngsters.
Daniel Handler