Quote

Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Personal
Philosophy
Situation
May
Handy
Come
Pet
Like
Situations
Acquire
Attractive

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This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?
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There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If someone wanted to torture me until I told them a critical piece of information, all they would have to do is get my socks wet. It feels terrible.
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Death is something you cannot escape, such as death, or a cheesecake that has curdled, both of which always turn up sooner later.
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There is no worse sound in the world than someone who cannot play the violin but insists on doing so anyway.
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Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.
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Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something
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Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing, because it can disappear for a long time, and then pop back up when you least expect it.
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I’m happier than a pig eating bacon!
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I decided that it might be interesting to have terrible things happen to orphans over and over again.
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Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they present themselves.
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It is not very polite to interrupt a person, of course, but sometimes if the person is very unpleasant you can hardly stop yourself.
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There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize.
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If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means 'flunk'.
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If you have ever had a miserable experience, then you have probably had it said to you that you would feel better in the morning. This, of course, is utter nonsense, because a miserable experience remains a miserable experience even on the loveliest of morning.
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There is no easy way to train an apprentice. My two tools are example and nagging.
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The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world.
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I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone. Then this is my life and maybe, however unlikely, I'll find my way back there. Or maybe, one day, I'll settle for second best. And on that same day, hell will freeze over, the sun will burn out and the stars will fall from the sky.
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...in life it is often the tiny details that end up being the most important.
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I gasped and pointed the way. I gave you an adventure, Ed, right in front of you but you never saw it until I showed you, and that's why we broke up.
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Count Olaf certainly does sound evil. Imagine forcing children to stand near a stove!
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