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Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Personal
Philosophy
Situation
May
Handy
Come
Pet
Like
Situations
Acquire
Attractive
More quotes by Daniel Handler
You’re just jealous of me because I’m a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian!
Daniel Handler
It was a curious feeling, that something could be so close and so distant at the same time.
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It seemed to me that every adult did something terrible sooner or later. And every child, I thought, sooner or later becomes an adult.
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I stayed there loving you, though the love made me, not sad but I guess melancholy, for a reason I couldn’t point to.
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This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.
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I like to think that I get better and better as a writer, but it seems pretty easy to me to slip on disguises of various people.
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Sometimes, even the best of plans will occur to you when it is too late.
Daniel Handler
You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.
Daniel Handler
When trouble strikes, head to the library. You will either be able to solve the problem, or simply have something to read as the world crashes down around you.
Daniel Handler
There is only laughing across the land as the car moves you along, on your way someplace with love in the car.
Daniel Handler
I found powerful the idea that everything we have is, in effect, stolen from everybody else.
Daniel Handler
Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.
Daniel Handler
It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself.
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This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?
Daniel Handler
Sometimes words are not enough.
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E! Klaus cried. E as in Exit! The Baudelaires ran down E as in Exit, but when they reached the last cabinet, the row was becoming F as in Falling File Cabinets, G as in Go the Other Way! and H as in How in the World Are We Going to Escape?
Daniel Handler
Someone can break your heart, leave you dead on the lawn, and still you never learn what to say to stop it all over again.
Daniel Handler
Santa Claus has nothing to do with it, the latke said. Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things. But different things can often blend together, said the pine tree. Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals.
Daniel Handler
It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.
Daniel Handler
Everyone on earth would never starve and forever find love and happiness, since we won, but if we’d lost, they would have gouged out our eyes and thrown us naked onto hot coals and poisonous snakes for all the cheering and hugging at the end, strangers hugging like the end of The Omega Virus when Steve Sturmine finds the antidote.
Daniel Handler
