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Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Acquire
Attractive
Personal
Philosophy
Situation
Handy
May
Pet
Come
Like
Situations

More quotes by Daniel Handler

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When I was researching my very first novel, The Basic Eight, I was calling right-wing political and religious organizations and asking them to mail me their material so that I could mock them in my novels.
Daniel Handler
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They say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this place where the buses are slow and most of the cute ones are gay.
Daniel Handler
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Goodness! Golly! Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne! Don't touch her! Grab her! Move closer! Run away! Don't move! Kill the snake! Leave it alone! Give it some food! Don't let it bite her! Lure the snake away! Here, snakey! Here, snakey snakey!
Daniel Handler
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For Beatrice- My love for you shall live forever. You, however, did not.
Daniel Handler
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Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.
Daniel Handler
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The trick to following someone without getting caught is to follow somebody who doesn't think they're being followed.
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Dead women tell no tales. Sad men write them down.
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Take back the smile and the night, take it all back, I wish I could.
Daniel Handler
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I always think it's silly when people talk about works of culture taking risks. Because there's not any risk involved.
Daniel Handler
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One wanders through life as if wandering through a field in the dark of night, wearing a blindfold and very heavy shoes, with a poisonous toad waiting patiently beneath a clump of weeds, knowing full well that eventually you will step on him.
Daniel Handler
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In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle.
Daniel Handler
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It is so rare in this world to meet a trustworthy person who truly wants to help you, and finding such a person can make you feel warm and safe, even if you are in the middle of a windy valley high up in the mountains.
Daniel Handler
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Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.
Daniel Handler
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And then of course the music sprang up, lousy rock as bold and dull as a giant potato. Love this song, Todd said, like it was unusually brave to like what was number one on the radio.
Daniel Handler
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When trouble strikes, head to the library. You will either be able to solve the problem, or simply have something to read as the world crashes down around you.
Daniel Handler
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Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they present themselves.
Daniel Handler
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We are all told to ignore bullies. It's something they teach you, and they can teach you anything. It doesn't mean you learn it. It doesn't mean you believe it. One should never ignore bullies. One should stop them.
Daniel Handler
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Waiting is one of life’s hardships.
Daniel Handler
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A girl meets a boy, Ed, and everything changes, or so she says.
Daniel Handler
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Knowing that something is wrong and doing it anyway happens very often in life, and I doubt I will ever know why.
Daniel Handler