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Sooner or later, everyone's story has an unfortunate event or two...The solution, of course, is to stay as far away from the world as possible and lead a safe, simple life.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Stories
Course
Solutions
Life
Possible
Musician
Hardship
World
Story
Later
Unfortunate
Simple
Lead
Sooner
Everyone
Safe
Solution
Away
Stay
Event
Happens
Events
Adversity
Two
Courses
Overcoming
More quotes by Daniel Handler
Everybody has a theory.
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Of course I'm trying to trick you! That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everyone runs around with their secrets and their schemes, trying to outwit everyone else.
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If you have ever had a miserable experience, then you have probably had it said to you that you would feel better in the morning. This, of course, is utter nonsense, because a miserable experience remains a miserable experience even on the loveliest of morning.
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Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular intervals and remind them that time is passing even more slowly than it seems.
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Are you ready? Klaus asked finally. No, Sunny answered. Me neither, Violet said, but if we wait until we're ready we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives, Let's go.
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...the moron who thought love was forever.
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I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.
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If you wish to avoid an unpleasant story you had best put this book down
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The sea is nothing but a library of all the tears in history.
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This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?
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It is not the diamonds or the birds, the people or the potatoes, it is not any of the nouns. The miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done. It is the way love gets done despite every catastrophe.
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It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.
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Sometimes words are not enough.
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There are some who go through life with a shadow hanging over them, particularly if they live in a building which has long wide awnings.
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The book was long, and difficult to read, and Klaus became more and more tired as the night wore on. Occasionally his eyes would close. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over.
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Dead women tell no tales. Sad men write them down.
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There are many things in life that become different if you take a long look at them.
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Fetching objects for people who are too lazy to fetch them for themselves is never a pleasant task, particularly when the people are insulting you.
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All cannot be lost when there is still so much being found
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Nobody wants to hear that you will try your best. It is the wrong thing to say. It is like saying 'I probably won't hit you with a shovel.' Suddenly everyone is afraid you will do the opposite.
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