Quote

As I am sure you know, when people say 'It's my pleasure,' they usually mean something along the lines of, 'There's nothing on Earth I would rather do less.' [...]

Daniel Handler

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
People
Sure
Rather
Less
Earth
Nothing
Usually
Mean
Along
Something
Lines
Would
Pleasure

More quotes by Daniel Handler

Image
This is love, and the trouble with it: it can make you embarrassed. Love is really liking someone a whole lot and not wanting to screw that up. Everybody's chewed over this. This unites us, this part of love.
Daniel Handler
Image
I know what is going on, said Sir. I am the Boss! Of course I know!
Daniel Handler
Image
Beef. Yes. Roast beef. It's the Swedish term for beef that is roasted.
Daniel Handler
Image
The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman-- it might be embarrassing to explain, but it would be very unusual to get them confused.
Daniel Handler
Image
It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.
Daniel Handler
Image
Life isn't fair, he said, in his undisguised voice, and for once the Baudelaire orphans agreed with every word the man said.
Daniel Handler
Image
This story is about the Baudelaires. And they are the sort of people who know that there’s always something. Something to invent, something to read, something to bite, and something to do, to make a sanctuary, no matter how small. And for this reason, I am happy to say, the Baudelaires were very fortunate indeed.
Daniel Handler
Image
If you have ever slept in a covered casserole dish on the highest peak of a mountain range, then you know that it is an uncomfortable place to lay one's head, even if you find a dish towel inside it that can serve as a blanket.
Daniel Handler
Image
There is no easy way to train an apprentice. My two tools are example and nagging.
Daniel Handler
Image
Instead of the word 'love' there was an enormous heart, a symbol sometimes used by people who have trouble figuring out the difference between words and shapes.
Daniel Handler
Image
You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.
Daniel Handler
Image
I always think it's silly when people talk about works of culture taking risks. Because there's not any risk involved.
Daniel Handler
Image
It was a curious feeling, that something could be so close and so distant at the same time.
Daniel Handler
Image
Take back the smile and the night, take it all back, I wish I could.
Daniel Handler
Image
If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.
Daniel Handler
Image
The way that the stories go in the Snicket books is just the way stories naturally go to me. They're full of misery, and yet the misery ends up being slightly hilarious. And in terms of the warnings on the back of the books, that really started as an honest assessment of their marketability.
Daniel Handler
Image
I was stupid, the official descriptive phrase for happy.
Daniel Handler
Image
I found powerful the idea that everything we have is, in effect, stolen from everybody else.
Daniel Handler
Image
I can't imagine why you would want to take your child to see what the career of a writer is like, because it mostly consists of sitting in a room typing, or going to the library and looking something up. Those are not exciting things to watch.
Daniel Handler
Image
And when love is over when the diner of love seems closed from the outside you want all those hours back along with anything you left at the lover’s house and maybe a couple of things which aren’t technically yours on the grounds that you wasted a portion of your life and those hours have all gone southside.
Daniel Handler