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The end of 'The End' is the best place to begin 'The End', because if you read 'The End' from the beginning of the beginning of 'The End' to the end of the end of 'The End', you will arrive at the end.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Read
Place
Ends
Best
Arrive
Begin
Beginning

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It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.
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If everyone fought fire with fire, the whole world would go up in smoke.
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There are many things in life that become different if you take a long look at them.
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The file clanked against me, my stupid idea nobody would have gotten had I ever done it. You even wouldn't have gotten it, Ed, I thought, watching her go. It's why we broke up, so here it is. Ed, how could you?
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Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.
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Every time you enter a library you might say to yourself, The world is quiet here, as a sort of pledge proclaiming reading to be the greater good.
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A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between two countries, so that the official can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly.
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The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.
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I gasped and pointed the way. I gave you an adventure, Ed, right in front of you but you never saw it until I showed you, and that's why we broke up.
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If you don’t care about something, one way to demonstrate your feelings is to say the word and then repeat the word with the letters S-C-H-M replacing the first letters. Somebody who didn’t care about dentists, for instance could say ‘Dentist, schmentists.
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I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.
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Lately it has become more and more difficult to attend dinner parties without the evening ending in gunfire or tapioca.
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The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world.
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I hadn't even been looking, not for you, and now you were my heart's desire.
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And then like a song we'd forgotten was even on the mix, you stepped into the house and my whole life.
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It was darker than a pitch-black panther, covered in tar, eating black licorice at the very bottom of the deepest part of the Black Sea.
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You know I want to be a director, but you could never truly see the movies in my head and that, Ed, is why we broke up.
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You may be right,' she said, a phrase which here meant 'I’m wrong, but I don’t have the courage to say so.
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Fetching objects for people who are too lazy to fetch them for themselves is never a pleasant task, particularly when the people are insulting you.
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We are a nation of children letting horrible things happen, and flunking Calc.
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