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Lately it has become more and more difficult to attend dinner parties without the evening ending in gunfire or tapioca.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Parties
Evening
Dinner
Party
Difficult
Gunfire
Become
Lately
Without
Attend
Ending

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who would dare think that, forever? Some idiot girl who wouldn’t know how things played out.
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I found powerful the idea that everything we have is, in effect, stolen from everybody else.
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Everyone on earth would never starve and forever find love and happiness, since we won, but if we’d lost, they would have gouged out our eyes and thrown us naked onto hot coals and poisonous snakes for all the cheering and hugging at the end, strangers hugging like the end of The Omega Virus when Steve Sturmine finds the antidote.
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The trick to following someone without getting caught is to follow somebody who doesn't think they're being followed.
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This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.
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I kind of always think my work is unfilmable, and when I meet people who are interested in filming it, I'm always stunned.
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I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.
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I can't imagine why you would want to take your child to see what the career of a writer is like, because it mostly consists of sitting in a room typing, or going to the library and looking something up. Those are not exciting things to watch.
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If you enjoy books with happy endings than you are better off reading some other book.
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