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Lately it has become more and more difficult to attend dinner parties without the evening ending in gunfire or tapioca.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Party
Difficult
Gunfire
Become
Lately
Without
Attend
Ending
Parties
Evening
Dinner
More quotes by Daniel Handler
Composer” is a word which here means “a person who sits in a room, muttering and humming and figuring out what notes the orchestra is going to play.” This is called composing. But last night, the Composer was not muttering. He was not humming. He was not moving, or even breathing. This is called decomposing.
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Tell me what it is, or prepare to eat harpoon.
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Why not rise from the grave and terrorize a little instead of staying buried and dead in the cemetery?
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Wishing, like sipping a glass of punch, or pulling aside a bearskin rug in order to access a hidden trapdoor in the floor, is merely a quiet way to spend one's time before the candles are extinguished on one's birthday cake.
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The rinsed foam swirled into one drain that always clogged come October when the maples dropped Canadian propaganda over everything.
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There are two types of panicking: standing still and not saying a word, and leaping all over the place babbling anything that comes into your head.
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It is very frustrating not to be understood in this world. If you say one thing and keep being told that you mean something else, it can make you want to scream. But somewhere in the world there is a place for all of us, whether you are an electric form of decoration, peppermint-scented sweet, a source of timber, or a potato pancake.
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One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island,because people always answer a deck of cards or Anna Karenina when the obvious answer is a well equipped boat and a crew to sail me off the island and back home where I can play all the card games and read all the Russian novels I want.
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The thing you hope will never happen to you might just happen to someone else instead, who has been spending their life dreading the thing that will happen to you.
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Even the best plans can change if there's an accident.
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All his life, Klaus had believed that if you read enough books, you could solve any problem, but now he wasn't so sure.
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They say in every library there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire in the mind.
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Like People, animals will become frightened and likely do whatever you say if you whip them enough.
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It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.
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Put your hair up, Min. The secret ingredient is not your hair.
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You may be right,' she said, a phrase which here meant 'I’m wrong, but I don’t have the courage to say so.
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There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap, and it is better to stain the napkin than your clothing. The other is that it can serve as a perfect hiding place. Practically nobody is nosey enough to take the napkin off a lap to see what is hidden there.
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The sea is nothing but a library of all the tears in history.
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-Most people would say that she's beautiful. -That's because she's been with most people.
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Just about everybody has written a first novel that they throw away before writing their actual first novel.
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