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There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, or liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Courses
Salmon
Course
Cleaners
Wrong
Liquid
Enjoy
Meal
Caramel
Nothing
Carpet
Strawberry
Going
Candy
Yogurt
Much
Meals
Strawberries
Like
Particularly
Cleaner
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You can't believe everything you read.
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A girl meets a boy, Ed, and everything changes, or so she says.
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Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.
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I’m not a cuckoo, either. I’m a fool is what.
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It was a secret time and place, you next to me, untraceable and out of this world
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This feeling is not unlike the sinking in one's stomach when one is in an elevator that suddenly goes down, or when you are snug in your bed and your closet door suddenly creaks open to reveal the person who has been hiding there.
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It is not always the job of people shouting outside impressive buildings to solve problems. It is often the job of the people inside, who have paper, pens, desks, and an impressive view.
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Everyone on earth would never starve and forever find love and happiness, since we won, but if we’d lost, they would have gouged out our eyes and thrown us naked onto hot coals and poisonous snakes for all the cheering and hugging at the end, strangers hugging like the end of The Omega Virus when Steve Sturmine finds the antidote.
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Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother's wombs, and then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women.
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All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.
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Is it fair for the bears to come down to where humans live, looking for food? Is it fair for the Duke's soldiers to shoot at them? Is it fair for the bears to crush them with giant snowballs? Often, if you point out something that isn't fair, someone will reply, Life isn't fair. What is to be done with such people?
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Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
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It is a lonely feeling when someone you care about becomes a stranger.
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When do you learn that the world, like any diner worth its salt, is open twenty-four hours a day?
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Even the best plans can change if there's an accident.
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Just about everybody has written a first novel that they throw away before writing their actual first novel.
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This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?
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I always think it's silly when people talk about works of culture taking risks. Because there's not any risk involved.
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I was so grateful that Lemony Snicket wasn't the worst movie ever made that I overlooked many things that might have otherwise upset me.
Daniel Handler
