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You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Behind
Running
Much
Knapsack
Something
Sheriff
Would
Sheriffs
Like
Dragging
Slower
Behinds

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All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.
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A mystery is solved with a story.
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Waiting is one of life’s hardships.
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The way that the stories go in the Snicket books is just the way stories naturally go to me. They're full of misery, and yet the misery ends up being slightly hilarious. And in terms of the warnings on the back of the books, that really started as an honest assessment of their marketability.
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Sometimes words are not enough.
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Life isn't fair, he said, in his undisguised voice, and for once the Baudelaire orphans agreed with every word the man said.
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I wrote Rick before I was published, and I had no vision of it, really. It was just a story that occurred to me, and that put its little claws in my brain, and I wrote it, and I showed it to a couple people, and they all said, This is ghastly.
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Either you have the feeling or you don't. Hawk Davies
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The key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught.
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A long time ago, there was no such thing as school, and children spent their days learning a trade, a phrase which here means standing around doing tedious tasks under the instruction of a bossy adult. In time, however, people realized that the children could be allowed to sit, and the first school was invented.
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Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except perhaps a few books on a few shelves.
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Opera was an enormous part of my childhood. My parents were both opera buffs, and they met in the box seat of an opera performance. And I also was a boy soprano, so before puberty hit, I was onstage playing a wide variety of orphans and urchins in all sorts of operas, and the sheer melodrama of their stories was just always appealing to me.
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In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle.
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Like People, animals will become frightened and likely do whatever you say if you whip them enough.
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Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, and when you do, it makes you want to hide under the coffee table.
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A bolt from the blue.
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I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.
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The last time I saw you I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle!
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Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
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