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Like a church bell, a coffin, and a vat of melted chocolate, a supply closet is rarely a comfortable place to hide.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Hide
Coffins
Comfortable
Bell
Church
Closet
Place
Closets
Like
Bells
Supply
Vat
Chocolate
Melted
Rarely
Coffin
More quotes by Daniel Handler
The rinsed foam swirled into one drain that always clogged come October when the maples dropped Canadian propaganda over everything.
Daniel Handler
The end of 'The End' is the best place to begin 'The End', because if you read 'The End' from the beginning of the beginning of 'The End' to the end of the end of 'The End', you will arrive at the end.
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But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.
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If you are interested in happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book. In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle. This is because not very many happy things happened in the lives of the three Baudelaire youngsters.
Daniel Handler
We need things, and the opposite of them, and we are so rarely completely comfortable.
Daniel Handler
Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.
Daniel Handler
E! Klaus cried. E as in Exit! The Baudelaires ran down E as in Exit, but when they reached the last cabinet, the row was becoming F as in Falling File Cabinets, G as in Go the Other Way! and H as in How in the World Are We Going to Escape?
Daniel Handler
There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap, and it is better to stain the napkin than your clothing. The other is that it can serve as a perfect hiding place. Practically nobody is nosey enough to take the napkin off a lap to see what is hidden there.
Daniel Handler
Shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people at any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down.
Daniel Handler
Every new promise was like something heavy I had to carry, with no place to put anything down.
Daniel Handler
I’m happier than a pig eating bacon!
Daniel Handler
Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.
Daniel Handler
There is no worse sound in the world than someone who cannot play the violin but insists on doing so anyway.
Daniel Handler
Frustration is an interesting emotional state, because it tends to bring out the worst in whoever is frustrated.
Daniel Handler
I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.
Daniel Handler
A new experience can be extremely pleasurable, or extremely irritating, or somewhere in between, and you never know until you try it out.
Daniel Handler
and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.
Daniel Handler
I'm sure you have heard it said that appearance does not matter so much, and that it is what's on the inside that counts. This is, of course, utter nonsense, because if it were true then people who were good on this inside would would never have to comb their hair or take a bath, and the whole world would smell even worse than it already does.
Daniel Handler
We are all told to ignore bullies. It's something they teach you, and they can teach you anything. It doesn't mean you learn it. It doesn't mean you believe it. One should never ignore bullies. One should stop them.
Daniel Handler
If he’s not gay and he hung out with you the whole time, he wanted to be. It’s boyfriend or want to be boyfriend or I guess gay. Those are the choices.
Daniel Handler
