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The key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Keys
Getting
Good
Eavesdropping
Caught

More quotes by Daniel Handler

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Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree, because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch, or you might simply get covered in sap, and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors, where it is harder to get a splinter.
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If he’s not gay and he hung out with you the whole time, he wanted to be. It’s boyfriend or want to be boyfriend or I guess gay. Those are the choices.
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As I am sure you know, when people say 'It's my pleasure,' they usually mean something along the lines of, 'There's nothing on Earth I would rather do less.' [...]
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If you are interested in happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book. In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle. This is because not very many happy things happened in the lives of the three Baudelaire youngsters.
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That night it felt that somehow by flicking them off the roof, the matches would burn down everything, the sparks from the tips of the flames, torching the world and all the heartbroken people in it.
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Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make - bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake - if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble.
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One has to adopt a sort of Zen calm, in which you know you wrote the best book that you could at the time.
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For every teenager I know, having a phone is a mixed blessing, because your parents can press a button and figure out where you are.
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I often can't remember which scenes are and aren't in the final product, because I saw so many different versions of the Lemony Snicket that I forget which ended up on the cutting-room floor.
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There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
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For Beatrice- My love for you shall live forever. You, however, did not.
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Take back the smile and the night, take it all back, I wish I could.
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There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize.
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who would dare think that, forever? Some idiot girl who wouldn’t know how things played out.
Daniel Handler
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The worst surroundings in the world can be tolerated if the people in them are interesting and kind.
Daniel Handler
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Taking one’s chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck.
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It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches.
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It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.
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There is only laughing across the land as the car moves you along, on your way someplace with love in the car.
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When trouble strikes, head to the library. You will either be able to solve the problem, or simply have something to read as the world crashes down around you.
Daniel Handler