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I know what is going on, said Sir. I am the Boss! Of course I know!

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Boss
Courses
Course
Going

More quotes by Daniel Handler

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There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap, and it is better to stain the napkin than your clothing. The other is that it can serve as a perfect hiding place. Practically nobody is nosey enough to take the napkin off a lap to see what is hidden there.
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Keep anyone with whom you can read in silence.
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When I was researching my very first novel, The Basic Eight, I was calling right-wing political and religious organizations and asking them to mail me their material so that I could mock them in my novels.
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Can't we sleep ten minutes more? I was having a lovely dream about sneezing without covering my mouth, and giving everybody germs.
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The Basic Eight and Watch Your Mouth both have first-person voices, and I ended up investigating those voices and investing so much in them that I think many people took them more seriously than they ought to have.
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If everyone fought fire with fire, the whole world would go up in smoke.
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Wishing, like sipping a glass of punch, or pulling aside a bearskin rug in order to access a hidden trapdoor in the floor, is merely a quiet way to spend one's time before the candles are extinguished on one's birthday cake.
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The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman-- it might be embarrassing to explain, but it would be very unusual to get them confused.
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...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.
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Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.
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If only Uncle Monty knew what we know, Violet said, and Stephano knew that he knew what we know. But Uncle Monty doesn't know what we know, and Stephano knows that he doesn't know what we know. I know, Klause said. I know you know, Violet said
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Complimenting someone in an exaggerated way is known as flattery, and flattery will generally get you anything you want.
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...the moron who thought love was forever.
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Like a lot of people whose children were small in the 2000s, I read [Daniel Handler] books out loud and I loved them.
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Even the best plans can change if there's an accident.
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The key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught.
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This is love, to sit with someone you've known forever in a place you've been meaning to go, and watching as their life happens to them until you stand up and it's time to go.
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Every night I give a violin recital for six hours, and attendance is mandatory. The word 'mandatory' means that if you don't show up, you have to buy me a large bag of candy and watch me eat it.
Daniel Handler
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I like to think that I get better and better as a writer, but it seems pretty easy to me to slip on disguises of various people.
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Figuratively, they escaped from Cout Olaf and their miserable existence. They did not literally escape, because they were still in his house and vulnerable to Olaf's evil in loco parentis ways.
Daniel Handler