Quote

This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.

Daniel Handler

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Eager
Knife
Knives
Sharp
Hurt

More quotes by Daniel Handler

Image
Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular intervals and remind them that time is passing even more slowly than it seems.
Daniel Handler
Image
The rinsed foam swirled into one drain that always clogged come October when the maples dropped Canadian propaganda over everything.
Daniel Handler
Image
With the publishing of The Basic Eight, it was often assumed that I was really immature and callow, and with the publishing of Watch Your Mouth, it was assumed that I was oversexualized, and with Lemony Snicket, it's often assumed that I'm erudite and depressed. But all the voices more or less came naturally to me.
Daniel Handler
Image
For Beatrice, when we first met, I was lonely, and you were pretty. Now I am pretty lonely.
Daniel Handler
Image
One wanders through life as if wandering through a field in the dark of night, wearing a blindfold and very heavy shoes, with a poisonous toad waiting patiently beneath a clump of weeds, knowing full well that eventually you will step on him.
Daniel Handler
Image
There is no worse sound in the world than someone who cannot play the violin but insists on doing so anyway.
Daniel Handler
Image
Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they present themselves.
Daniel Handler
Image
...there's not enough ink and paper to say all I wanted.
Daniel Handler
Image
Tell me what it is, or prepare to eat harpoon.
Daniel Handler
Image
I write storys to entertain not to be the best
Daniel Handler
Image
It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.
Daniel Handler
Image
There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap, and it is better to stain the napkin than your clothing. The other is that it can serve as a perfect hiding place. Practically nobody is nosey enough to take the napkin off a lap to see what is hidden there.
Daniel Handler
Image
If you have ever slept in a covered casserole dish on the highest peak of a mountain range, then you know that it is an uncomfortable place to lay one's head, even if you find a dish towel inside it that can serve as a blanket.
Daniel Handler
Image
Complimenting someone in an exaggerated way is known as flattery, and flattery will generally get you anything you want.
Daniel Handler
Image
You can't believe everything you read.
Daniel Handler
Image
For Beatrice, when we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended.
Daniel Handler
Image
The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman-- it might be embarrassing to explain, but it would be very unusual to get them confused.
Daniel Handler
Image
When you say, History is written by the winners, you like to think about someone who isn't you. You want to think, Oh, that's the juggernaut I'm standing against. But you're probably part of it.
Daniel Handler
Image
The book was long, and difficult to read, and Klaus became more and more tired as the night wore on. Occasionally his eyes would close. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over.
Daniel Handler
Image
The thing you hope will never happen to you might just happen to someone else instead, who has been spending their life dreading the thing that will happen to you.
Daniel Handler