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It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Return
Sandwiches
Minutes
Cream
Simply
Ice
Someone
Corner
Around
Corners
Home
Leaves
Going
Sadness
Always
Unless

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Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular intervals and remind them that time is passing even more slowly than it seems.
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Never mind what my name is,” the man said. “No one can pronounce it anyway. Just call me Sir.
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It is my fate that some of my questions will never be answered.
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It was darker than a pitch-black panther, covered in tar, eating black licorice at the very bottom of the deepest part of the Black Sea.
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I kind of always think my work is unfilmable, and when I meet people who are interested in filming it, I'm always stunned.
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Never, under any circumstances, let the Virginian wolfsnake near a typewriter.
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This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?
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If you have ever slept in a covered casserole dish on the highest peak of a mountain range, then you know that it is an uncomfortable place to lay one's head, even if you find a dish towel inside it that can serve as a blanket.
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Well-read people are less likely to be evil.
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There are many things in life that become different if you take a long look at them.
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With the publishing of The Basic Eight, it was often assumed that I was really immature and callow, and with the publishing of Watch Your Mouth, it was assumed that I was oversexualized, and with Lemony Snicket, it's often assumed that I'm erudite and depressed. But all the voices more or less came naturally to me.
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There are some who go through life with a shadow hanging over them, particularly if they live in a building which has long wide awnings.
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You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.
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It is not the diamonds or the birds, the people or the potatoes, it is not any of the nouns. The miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done. It is the way love gets done despite every catastrophe.
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I wrote Rick before I was published, and I had no vision of it, really. It was just a story that occurred to me, and that put its little claws in my brain, and I wrote it, and I showed it to a couple people, and they all said, This is ghastly.
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The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.
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