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Everybody has a theory.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Theory
Everybody

More quotes by Daniel Handler

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One wanders through life as if wandering through a field in the dark of night, wearing a blindfold and very heavy shoes, with a poisonous toad waiting patiently beneath a clump of weeds, knowing full well that eventually you will step on him.
Daniel Handler
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I'm not very good at the accordion. If I played guitar, I wouldn't be on anyone's album. But because I play the accordion and no one else does, I end up doing strange things.
Daniel Handler
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So every so often, when I meet someone who's honestly appalled by my books and doesn't understand why they would be attractive to people... I find such people sort of charming, even though they usually don't like me.
Daniel Handler
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The last time I saw you I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle!
Daniel Handler
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-Most people would say that she's beautiful. -That's because she's been with most people.
Daniel Handler
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There are many things in life that become different if you take a long look at them.
Daniel Handler
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How did you do that?” Mr. Poe asked. “Nice girls shouldn’t know how to do such things.” “My sister is a nice girl,” Klaus said, “and she knows how to do all sorts of things.
Daniel Handler
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I first told the idea to an editor I had met who, after reading one of my novels for adults that was set in a high school, had an idea that I might write something for children.
Daniel Handler
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Anyone who thinks the pen is mightier than the sword has not been stabbed with both.
Daniel Handler
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Complimenting someone in an exaggerated way is known as flattery, and flattery will generally get you anything you want.
Daniel Handler
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Nobody wants to hear that you will try your best. It is the wrong thing to say. It is like saying 'I probably won't hit you with a shovel.' Suddenly everyone is afraid you will do the opposite.
Daniel Handler
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It is terribly rude to tell people that their troubles are boring.
Daniel Handler
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If only Uncle Monty knew what we know, Violet said, and Stephano knew that he knew what we know. But Uncle Monty doesn't know what we know, and Stephano knows that he doesn't know what we know. I know, Klause said. I know you know, Violet said
Daniel Handler
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Even the best plans can change if there's an accident.
Daniel Handler
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I gasped and pointed the way. I gave you an adventure, Ed, right in front of you but you never saw it until I showed you, and that's why we broke up.
Daniel Handler
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It was a curious feeling, that something could be so close and so distant at the same time.
Daniel Handler
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You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.
Daniel Handler
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There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, or liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal.
Daniel Handler
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All cannot be lost when there is still so much being found
Daniel Handler
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But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.
Daniel Handler