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The sad truth is the truth is sad.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Sadness
Truth

More quotes by Daniel Handler

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You should never stick something that you are allergic to into your mouth, especially if that thing is cats.
Daniel Handler
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If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means 'flunk'.
Daniel Handler
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...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.
Daniel Handler
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For every teenager I know, having a phone is a mixed blessing, because your parents can press a button and figure out where you are.
Daniel Handler
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If you don’t care about something, one way to demonstrate your feelings is to say the word and then repeat the word with the letters S-C-H-M replacing the first letters. Somebody who didn’t care about dentists, for instance could say ‘Dentist, schmentists.
Daniel Handler
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Every last souvenir of the love we had, the prizes & the debris of this relationship, like the glitter in the gutter when the parade has passed, all the everything & whatnot kicked to the curb.
Daniel Handler
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Taking one’s chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck.
Daniel Handler
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Santa Claus has nothing to do with it, the latke said. Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things. But different things can often blend together, said the pine tree. Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals.
Daniel Handler
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I always think it's silly when people talk about works of culture taking risks. Because there's not any risk involved.
Daniel Handler
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Xenial' is a word which refers to the giving of gifts to strangers. . . . I know that having a good vocabulary doesn't guarantee that I'm a good person. . . . But it does mean I've read a great deal. And in my experience, well-read people are less likely to be evil.
Daniel Handler
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When trouble strikes, head to the library. You will either be able to solve the problem, or simply have something to read as the world crashes down around you.
Daniel Handler
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It is not very polite to interrupt a person, of course, but sometimes if the person is very unpleasant you can hardly stop yourself.
Daniel Handler
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Is it fair for the bears to come down to where humans live, looking for food? Is it fair for the Duke's soldiers to shoot at them? Is it fair for the bears to crush them with giant snowballs? Often, if you point out something that isn't fair, someone will reply, Life isn't fair. What is to be done with such people?
Daniel Handler
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We are a nation of children letting horrible things happen, and flunking Calc.
Daniel Handler
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Either you have the feeling or you don't. Hawk Davies
Daniel Handler
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Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.
Daniel Handler
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There are so many movies like this, where you thought you were smarter than the screen but the director was smarter than you, of course he's the one, of course it was a dream, of course she's dead, of course, it's hidden right there, of course it's the truth and you in your seat have failed to notice in the dark.
Daniel Handler
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Sometime during your life—in fact, very soon—you may find yourself reading a book, and you may notice that a book’s first sentence can often tell you what sort of story your book contains.
Daniel Handler
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You can't believe everything you read.
Daniel Handler
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Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they present themselves.
Daniel Handler