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Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Two
Tricks
Recite
Able
Cards
Elevator
Ever
Jokes
Elevators
Case
Hilarious
Cases
Card
Everyone
Trick
Tell
Trapped
Three
Poems
More quotes by Daniel Handler
I write storys to entertain not to be the best
Daniel Handler
Announcing your death should be like announcing that you are a lunar moth: It must be done quietly or it will not be believed.
Daniel Handler
Taking one’s chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck.
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If you enjoy books with happy endings than you are better off reading some other book.
Daniel Handler
Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something
Daniel Handler
If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.
Daniel Handler
This story is about the Baudelaires. And they are the sort of people who know that there’s always something. Something to invent, something to read, something to bite, and something to do, to make a sanctuary, no matter how small. And for this reason, I am happy to say, the Baudelaires were very fortunate indeed.
Daniel Handler
They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I ate eleven of them, right in a row. It is rude to take the last cookie.
Daniel Handler
I’m reminded of a book my father used to read me,” she said. “A bunch of elves and things get into a huge war over a piece of jewelry that everybody wants but nobody can wear.
Daniel Handler
Don’t repeat yourself. It’s not only repetitive, it’s redundant, and people have heard it before.
Daniel Handler
I found powerful the idea that everything we have is, in effect, stolen from everybody else.
Daniel Handler
Sometimes, even the best of plans will occur to you when it is too late.
Daniel Handler
...that's not why we broke up. I love it, I miss it, I hate to give it back to you, this complicated thing, it's why we stayed together
Daniel Handler
Frustration is an interesting emotional state, because it tends to bring out the worst in whoever is frustrated.
Daniel Handler
It is very frustrating not to be understood in this world. If you say one thing and keep being told that you mean something else, it can make you want to scream. But somewhere in the world there is a place for all of us, whether you are an electric form of decoration, peppermint-scented sweet, a source of timber, or a potato pancake.
Daniel Handler
There are some secrets you want to keep to yourself, even if they don't matter. They might only matter if you keep them secret.
Daniel Handler
Just about everybody has written a first novel that they throw away before writing their actual first novel.
Daniel Handler
We are all told to ignore bullies. It's something they teach you, and they can teach you anything. It doesn't mean you learn it. It doesn't mean you believe it. One should never ignore bullies. One should stop them.
Daniel Handler
I started making plans, thinking we would get that far.
Daniel Handler
Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.
Daniel Handler
