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Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Often
Come
Meatballs
Made
Miracles
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Appear
Miracle
Exactly
Agree
Nobody
More quotes by Daniel Handler
Life isn't fair, he said, in his undisguised voice, and for once the Baudelaire orphans agreed with every word the man said.
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For Beatrice, summer without you is as cold as winter. Winter without you, is even colder.
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It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.
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It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.
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Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.
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There is no way of knowing for sure whether or not you can trust someone, for the simple reason that circumstances change all of the time.
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The last time I saw you I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle!
Daniel Handler
I started making plans, thinking we would get that far.
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You may be right,' she said, a phrase which here meant 'I’m wrong, but I don’t have the courage to say so.
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It seems to me that oftentimes in young relationships once there's a problem of some significance then it's almost like they're both racing for the dumper buzzer.
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Santa Claus has nothing to do with it, the latke said. Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things. But different things can often blend together, said the pine tree. Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals.
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All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.
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They say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this place where the buses are slow and most of the cute ones are gay.
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I often can't remember which scenes are and aren't in the final product, because I saw so many different versions of the Lemony Snicket that I forget which ended up on the cutting-room floor.
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This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.
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Like a church bell, a coffin, and a vat of melted chocolate, a supply closet is rarely a comfortable place to hide.
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They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I ate eleven of them, right in a row. It is rude to take the last cookie.
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A successful villain should have all these things at his or her villainous fingertips, or else give up villainy altogether and try to lead a life of decency, integrity, and kindness, which is much more challenging and noble, if not always quite as exciting.
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Every time you enter a library you might say to yourself, The world is quiet here, as a sort of pledge proclaiming reading to be the greater good.
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How can someone so wonderful do something so terrible?
Daniel Handler
