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If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Mouth
Particularly
Mouths
Humanity
Animal
Best
Allergic
Thing
Cats
Cat
More quotes by Daniel Handler
Never, under any circumstances, let the Virginian wolfsnake near a typewriter.
Daniel Handler
The end of 'The End' is the best place to begin 'The End', because if you read 'The End' from the beginning of the beginning of 'The End' to the end of the end of 'The End', you will arrive at the end.
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Is it fair for the bears to come down to where humans live, looking for food? Is it fair for the Duke's soldiers to shoot at them? Is it fair for the bears to crush them with giant snowballs? Often, if you point out something that isn't fair, someone will reply, Life isn't fair. What is to be done with such people?
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Everybody has a theory.
Daniel Handler
Sometime during your life—in fact, very soon—you may find yourself reading a book, and you may notice that a book’s first sentence can often tell you what sort of story your book contains.
Daniel Handler
The book was long, and difficult to read, and Klaus became more and more tired as the night wore on. Occasionally his eyes would close. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over.
Daniel Handler
Opera was an enormous part of my childhood. My parents were both opera buffs, and they met in the box seat of an opera performance. And I also was a boy soprano, so before puberty hit, I was onstage playing a wide variety of orphans and urchins in all sorts of operas, and the sheer melodrama of their stories was just always appealing to me.
Daniel Handler
No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don't read is often as important as what you do read.
Daniel Handler
who would dare think that, forever? Some idiot girl who wouldn’t know how things played out.
Daniel Handler
There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, or liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal.
Daniel Handler
There are some secrets you want to keep to yourself, even if they don't matter. They might only matter if you keep them secret.
Daniel Handler
I think if I were walking someplace and I saw a corpse my brain would tell me it was a million things before I believed it was a corpse.
Daniel Handler
The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.
Daniel Handler
I want to love you and take you pretty places. Yes, I have things wrong, but also I can walk through walls if you'll let me show you.
Daniel Handler
Of course I'm trying to trick you! That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everyone runs around with their secrets and their schemes, trying to outwit everyone else.
Daniel Handler
Waiting is one of life’s hardships.
Daniel Handler
The whole thing of what I’ve been trying,” you said, “is that you’re different, and you keep asking about the other girls, but what I mean is that I don’t think about them, because of the way you are.
Daniel Handler
It is always tedious when someone tells you that if you don't stop crying, they will give you something to cry about, because if you are crying then you already have something to cry about, and so there is no reason for them to give you anything additional to cry about, thank you very much.
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It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.
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Never mind what my name is,” the man said. “No one can pronounce it anyway. Just call me Sir.
Daniel Handler
