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If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Best
Allergic
Thing
Cats
Cat
Mouth
Particularly
Mouths
Humanity
Animal

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One can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.
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There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, or liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal.
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A girl meets a boy, Ed, and everything changes, or so she says.
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...there's not enough ink and paper to say all I wanted.
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If you don’t care about something, one way to demonstrate your feelings is to say the word and then repeat the word with the letters S-C-H-M replacing the first letters. Somebody who didn’t care about dentists, for instance could say ‘Dentist, schmentists.
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I first told the idea to an editor I had met who, after reading one of my novels for adults that was set in a high school, had an idea that I might write something for children.
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Take back the smile and the night, take it all back, I wish I could.
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They say in every library there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire in the mind.
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Nobody wants to fall into a safety net, because it means the structure in which they've been living is in a state of collapse and they have no choice but to tumble downwards. However, it beats the alternative.
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I hadn't even been looking, not for you, and now you were my heart's desire.
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The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world.
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All his life, Klaus had believed that if you read enough books, you could solve any problem, but now he wasn't so sure.
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I have a dream of what would have happened if what happened instead hadn't.
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I often can't remember which scenes are and aren't in the final product, because I saw so many different versions of the Lemony Snicket that I forget which ended up on the cutting-room floor.
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How did you do that?” Mr. Poe asked. “Nice girls shouldn’t know how to do such things.” “My sister is a nice girl,” Klaus said, “and she knows how to do all sorts of things.
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Nobody wants to hear that you will try your best. It is the wrong thing to say. It is like saying 'I probably won't hit you with a shovel.' Suddenly everyone is afraid you will do the opposite.
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When I was researching my very first novel, The Basic Eight, I was calling right-wing political and religious organizations and asking them to mail me their material so that I could mock them in my novels.
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There is only laughing across the land as the car moves you along, on your way someplace with love in the car.
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For Beatrice, when we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended.
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Your initial opinion on just about anything may change over time.
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