Quote

If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Mouths
Humanity
Animal
Best
Allergic
Thing
Cats
Cat
Mouth
Particularly

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I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone. Then this is my life and maybe, however unlikely, I'll find my way back there. Or maybe, one day, I'll settle for second best. And on that same day, hell will freeze over, the sun will burn out and the stars will fall from the sky.
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Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.
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For Beatrice, when we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended.
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There are some secrets you want to keep to yourself, even if they don't matter. They might only matter if you keep them secret.
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Announcing your death should be like announcing that you are a lunar moth: It must be done quietly or it will not be believed.
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It is likely I will die next to a pile of things I was meaning to read.
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Sometime during your life—in fact, very soon—you may find yourself reading a book, and you may notice that a book’s first sentence can often tell you what sort of story your book contains.
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I decided that it might be interesting to have terrible things happen to orphans over and over again.
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The idea that the curtain rises on what is often more or less a happy scene, and it will fall just a few hours later, and everyone will be dead or have gone mad... I find that kind of narrative very appealing.
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I’m happier than a pig eating bacon!
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A new experience can be extremely pleasurable, or extremely irritating, or somewhere in between, and you never know until you try it out.
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Or why you are wearing a picture of Santa Clause on you shirts, but-” “It’s Herman Melville.
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Just about everybody has written a first novel that they throw away before writing their actual first novel.
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With a library it is easier to hope for serendipity than to look for a precise answer.
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It has been said that the hardest job in the world is raising a child, but the people who says this have probably never worked at a comb factory or captured pirates on the high seas.
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I have a dream of what would have happened if what happened instead hadn't.
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It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.
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Dumping you times infinity. Still not enough.
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It was a curious feeling, that something could be so close and so distant at the same time.
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For Beatrice, when we first met, I was lonely, and you were pretty. Now I am pretty lonely.
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