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I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Ships
Whale
Teeth
Iceberg
Loves
Naval
Love
Whales
Passengers
Uniforms
Sperm
Flavor
Lifeboat
Ship
Lifeboats

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It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.
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Or why you are wearing a picture of Santa Clause on you shirts, but-” “It’s Herman Melville.
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Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they present themselves.
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and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.
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I kind of always think my work is unfilmable, and when I meet people who are interested in filming it, I'm always stunned.
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Never, under any circumstances, let the Virginian wolfsnake near a typewriter.
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There are some who go through life with a shadow hanging over them, particularly if they live in a building which has long wide awnings.
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Composer” is a word which here means “a person who sits in a room, muttering and humming and figuring out what notes the orchestra is going to play.” This is called composing. But last night, the Composer was not muttering. He was not humming. He was not moving, or even breathing. This is called decomposing.
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It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.
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Anyone who thinks the pen is mightier than the sword has not been stabbed with both.
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A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between two countries, so that the official can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly.
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Lately it has become more and more difficult to attend dinner parties without the evening ending in gunfire or tapioca.
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If everyone fought fire with fire, the whole world would go up in smoke.
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It is not the diamonds or the birds, the people or the potatoes, it is not any of the nouns. The miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done. It is the way love gets done despite every catastrophe.
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One can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.
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You should never stick something that you are allergic to into your mouth, especially if that thing is cats.
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It is very frustrating not to be understood in this world. If you say one thing and keep being told that you mean something else, it can make you want to scream. But somewhere in the world there is a place for all of us, whether you are an electric form of decoration, peppermint-scented sweet, a source of timber, or a potato pancake.
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If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means 'flunk'.
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There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize.
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