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Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Never
Educational
Brought
Trust
Anyone
Reading
Book

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I can't think of a story that doesn't have something terrible in it. Otherwise, it's dull. So when I embarked into the world of picture books, my first thought was to do something about the dark.
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Everybody has a theory.
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There is no worse sound in the world than someone who cannot play the violin but insists on doing so anyway.
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You can't believe everything you read.
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Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.
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If you are interested in happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book. In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle. This is because not very many happy things happened in the lives of the three Baudelaire youngsters.
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...that's not why we broke up. I love it, I miss it, I hate to give it back to you, this complicated thing, it's why we stayed together
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I always think it's silly when people talk about works of culture taking risks. Because there's not any risk involved.
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Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.
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It is always terrible to be told to go play with people one doesn't know.
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Nobody wants to hear that you will try your best. It is the wrong thing to say. It is like saying 'I probably won't hit you with a shovel.' Suddenly everyone is afraid you will do the opposite.
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Never mind what my name is,” the man said. “No one can pronounce it anyway. Just call me Sir.
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Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.
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Like a church bell, a coffin, and a vat of melted chocolate, a supply closet is rarely a comfortable place to hide.
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It is very frustrating not to be understood in this world. If you say one thing and keep being told that you mean something else, it can make you want to scream. But somewhere in the world there is a place for all of us, whether you are an electric form of decoration, peppermint-scented sweet, a source of timber, or a potato pancake.
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The Basic Eight and Watch Your Mouth both have first-person voices, and I ended up investigating those voices and investing so much in them that I think many people took them more seriously than they ought to have.
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Nobody wants to fall into a safety net, because it means the structure in which they've been living is in a state of collapse and they have no choice but to tumble downwards. However, it beats the alternative.
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This feeling is not unlike the sinking in one's stomach when one is in an elevator that suddenly goes down, or when you are snug in your bed and your closet door suddenly creaks open to reveal the person who has been hiding there.
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When trouble strikes, head to the library. You will either be able to solve the problem, or simply have something to read as the world crashes down around you.
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