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Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.
Daniel Handler
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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Littles
Odd
Little
Restaurants
Always
Filled
Things
Fate
Waiters
Never
Asked
Simile
Like
Humor
Unpopular
Strange
Waiter
Bring
Restaurant
More quotes by Daniel Handler
You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.
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Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
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It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches.
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One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island,because people always answer a deck of cards or Anna Karenina when the obvious answer is a well equipped boat and a crew to sail me off the island and back home where I can play all the card games and read all the Russian novels I want.
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And then of course the music sprang up, lousy rock as bold and dull as a giant potato. Love this song, Todd said, like it was unusually brave to like what was number one on the radio.
Daniel Handler
Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.
Daniel Handler
When I was researching my very first novel, The Basic Eight, I was calling right-wing political and religious organizations and asking them to mail me their material so that I could mock them in my novels.
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For Beatrice, when we first met, I was lonely, and you were pretty. Now I am pretty lonely.
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Every new promise was like something heavy I had to carry, with no place to put anything down.
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The sea is nothing but a library of all the tears in history.
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You should never stick something that you are allergic to into your mouth, especially if that thing is cats.
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Of course I'm trying to trick you! That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everyone runs around with their secrets and their schemes, trying to outwit everyone else.
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I like to think that I get better and better as a writer, but it seems pretty easy to me to slip on disguises of various people.
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When do you learn that the world, like any diner worth its salt, is open twenty-four hours a day?
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Announcing your death should be like announcing that you are a lunar moth: It must be done quietly or it will not be believed.
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You know I want to be a director, but you could never truly see the movies in my head and that, Ed, is why we broke up.
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If everyone fought fire with fire, the whole world would go up in smoke.
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Like People, animals will become frightened and likely do whatever you say if you whip them enough.
Daniel Handler
In general, of course, a stranger who tries to get you into an automobile is anything but noble, and in general a person who quotes great American novelists is anything but treacherous, and in general a man who says you needn't worry about money, or a man who smokes cigarettes, is somewhere in between.
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Keep anyone with whom you can read in silence.
Daniel Handler
