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Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.

Daniel Handler

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Daniel Handler
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: February 28
Accordionist
Author
Musician
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
San Francisco County
California
Lemony Snicket
Bring
Restaurant
Littles
Odd
Little
Restaurants
Always
Filled
Things
Fate
Waiters
Never
Asked
Simile
Like
Humor
Unpopular
Strange
Waiter

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Never mind what my name is,” the man said. “No one can pronounce it anyway. Just call me Sir.
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You should never stick something that you are allergic to into your mouth, especially if that thing is cats.
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There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap, and it is better to stain the napkin than your clothing. The other is that it can serve as a perfect hiding place. Practically nobody is nosey enough to take the napkin off a lap to see what is hidden there.
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Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree, because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch, or you might simply get covered in sap, and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors, where it is harder to get a splinter.
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But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.
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