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Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Need
First
Feel
Feels
Needs
Even
Salad
Like
Bars
People
Firsts

More quotes by Dane Cook

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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
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Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
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You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
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I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.
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My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
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Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
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It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
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That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
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Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
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Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
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I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.
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There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.
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I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
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Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
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I have a new saying, what I see in Vegas, I am telling everybody.
Dane Cook