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Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Need
First
Feel
Feels
Needs
Even
Salad
Like
Bars
People
Firsts

More quotes by Dane Cook

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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
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I get so into the moment.
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If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay there and go, I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
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When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not
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I won't take no for a question.
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. If I'm at home, I'm usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website or whatever it may be. I just love putting creativity into a performance.
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
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We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
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I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
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Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
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Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
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I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
Dane Cook
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
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Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
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You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
Dane Cook