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Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Like
Bars
People
Firsts
Need
First
Feel
Feels
Needs
Even
Salad

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I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
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I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
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It really drives me banana sangwich.
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
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Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
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If my voice can resonate that way with kids, maybe it will resonate through 'Planes' as well, and they'll hear that little something that I'm giving to them, a performance that says to them, I want to try. It's all interconnected. I don't think it's thinking too deeply about it.
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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
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Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
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When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
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There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
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Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
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I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
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You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.
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I'm not racist, I've got a black president.
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I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
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