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I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Staying
Focused
Healthy
Health
Work

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I was being chased by a giant crab. That's not funny.
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People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.
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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
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Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.
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There's estrogen running through my veins!
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You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.
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I've lived (in LA) for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't anymore.
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You need to open up your soul and have a weep-a-thon.
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There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
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I just get excited doing shows. Off stage I am actually very feeble and must be spoon-fed because my hands are too brittle.
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I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
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I get so into the moment.
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Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
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I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
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I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.
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