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People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Life
People
Stage
Jobs
Good
Time
Love

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I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
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When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...
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You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.
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I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
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If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or in a coffee shop where they are doing open mice, anywhere you can perform even if that means starting your own open mic night - and be your own self.
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Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
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I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
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I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.
Dane Cook
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Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
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I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
Dane Cook
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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
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You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
Dane Cook
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
Dane Cook
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Text a guy you like right now, I'm thinking about you. If he says, mmm are you in bed? Never speak to him again he's a lifelong moron.
Dane Cook
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
Dane Cook
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
Dane Cook
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There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.
Dane Cook
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Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
Dane Cook