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People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Jobs
Good
Time
Love
Life
People
Stage

More quotes by Dane Cook

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I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
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My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.
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Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
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If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
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My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
Dane Cook
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You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.
Dane Cook
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I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.
Dane Cook
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
Dane Cook
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It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
Dane Cook
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I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.
Dane Cook
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When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
Dane Cook
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Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
Dane Cook
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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
Dane Cook
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
Dane Cook
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I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, If you ever yell at me to stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off.
Dane Cook
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You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
Dane Cook
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Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.
Dane Cook
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
Dane Cook