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People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Stage
Jobs
Good
Time
Love
Life
People
More quotes by Dane Cook
When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
Dane Cook
Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
Dane Cook
I get so into the moment.
Dane Cook
Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
Dane Cook
If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
Dane Cook
Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
Dane Cook
I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.
Dane Cook
There's estrogen running through my veins!
Dane Cook
You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
Dane Cook
I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
Dane Cook
Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ.
Dane Cook
I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
Dane Cook
Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
Dane Cook
I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
Dane Cook
I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.
Dane Cook
There were times, earlier in my career, where I didn't have the wherewithal to self-edit, and I probably said things and pushed the limits to places where people might be put off. But that's truly part of developing as an artist.
Dane Cook
I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
Dane Cook
I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
Dane Cook
That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
Dane Cook
You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
Dane Cook