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Are there glass shards in my anus?!

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Anus
Shards
Glass
Glasses

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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
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I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
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I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
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It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
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I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
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I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
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Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
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I have a new saying, what I see in Vegas, I am telling everybody.
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Drive, ego and cocksureness are all essential elements in terms of getting exactly what you want but losing everything you've got.
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Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?
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Text a guy you like right now, I'm thinking about you. If he says, mmm are you in bed? Never speak to him again he's a lifelong moron.
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
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It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.
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I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.
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There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.
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I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. If I'm at home, I'm usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website or whatever it may be. I just love putting creativity into a performance.
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
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