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It really drives me banana sangwich.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Banana
Bananas
Drives
Really

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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
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I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow.
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I'm not racist, I've got a black president.
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
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I was not a silly kid or outgoing. In fact, I suffered from quite a bit of anxiety. I used to have panic attacks when I was a teenager, really incapacitating moments, because I had some phobias.
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I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.
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Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
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I won't take no for a question.
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You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
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My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
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I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
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I live my life like there's no yesterday.
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