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It really drives me banana sangwich.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Bananas
Drives
Really
Banana

More quotes by Dane Cook

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You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
Dane Cook
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Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ.
Dane Cook
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I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
Dane Cook
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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
Dane Cook
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A couple of days back, I got into a car accident. Not my fault. Even if it's not your fault, the other person gets out of their car and looks at you like it's your fault: Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80!
Dane Cook
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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
Dane Cook
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If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
Dane Cook
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I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
Dane Cook
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That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
Dane Cook
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I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
Dane Cook
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
Dane Cook
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I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.
Dane Cook
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
Dane Cook
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I would love to have acidy spit.
Dane Cook
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
Dane Cook
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I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.
Dane Cook
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You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.
Dane Cook
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I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow.
Dane Cook
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
Dane Cook
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Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
Dane Cook