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I would love to have acidy spit.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Love
Spit
Would

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When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
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Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
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I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.
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It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.
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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
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I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
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Hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside past the lips.
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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
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Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed!
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I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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Are there glass shards in my anus?!
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
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Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?
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I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
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I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.
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I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
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