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I would love to have acidy spit.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Love
Spit
Would

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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
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Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
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I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
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I have a new saying, what I see in Vegas, I am telling everybody.
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Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to follow the crowds and not make independent decisions based on truly how you feel.
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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
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There were times, earlier in my career, where I didn't have the wherewithal to self-edit, and I probably said things and pushed the limits to places where people might be put off. But that's truly part of developing as an artist.
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Are there glass shards in my anus?!
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Drive, ego and cocksureness are all essential elements in terms of getting exactly what you want but losing everything you've got.
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
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Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.
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I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
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I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
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I'm not giving up on life. I'm giving up on today.
Dane Cook