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I would love to have acidy spit.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Spit
Would
Love

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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
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Drive, ego and cocksureness are all essential elements in terms of getting exactly what you want but losing everything you've got.
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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
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Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
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A couple of days back, I got into a car accident. Not my fault. Even if it's not your fault, the other person gets out of their car and looks at you like it's your fault: Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80!
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
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I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
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You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.
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Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
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I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.
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I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
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If my voice can resonate that way with kids, maybe it will resonate through 'Planes' as well, and they'll hear that little something that I'm giving to them, a performance that says to them, I want to try. It's all interconnected. I don't think it's thinking too deeply about it.
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My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
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