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I would love to have acidy spit.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Spit
Would
Love
More quotes by Dane Cook
I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
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Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
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I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
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You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
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When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.
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You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
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I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
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I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
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