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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Fortunate
Shoes
Car
Come
Enough
Sometimes
Portion
Portions
Pants
More quotes by Dane Cook
Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
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I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
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People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
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I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
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When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.
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I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.
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You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.
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It really drives me banana sangwich.
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I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. If I'm at home, I'm usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website or whatever it may be. I just love putting creativity into a performance.
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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
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I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
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You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.
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I would love to have acidy spit.
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I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.
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When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
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I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.
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Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
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