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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Sometimes
Portion
Portions
Pants
Fortunate
Shoes
Car
Come
Enough
More quotes by Dane Cook
I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
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My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
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Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
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When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.
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Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
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I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
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I'm not racist, I've got a black president.
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It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
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Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
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I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
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I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
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There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.
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When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
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