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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Sometimes
Portion
Portions
Pants
Fortunate
Shoes
Car
Come
Enough
More quotes by Dane Cook
I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.
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Text a guy you like right now, I'm thinking about you. If he says, mmm are you in bed? Never speak to him again he's a lifelong moron.
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
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We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
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I get so into the moment.
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
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I'm not racist, I've got a black president.
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
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That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
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I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
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I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
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You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
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