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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Pants
Fortunate
Shoes
Car
Come
Enough
Sometimes
Portion
Portions
More quotes by Dane Cook
You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
Dane Cook
I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.
Dane Cook
People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
Dane Cook
You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
Dane Cook
When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...
Dane Cook
You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
Dane Cook
When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
Dane Cook
I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
Dane Cook
Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
Dane Cook
I'm a late-night guy.
Dane Cook
Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
Dane Cook
You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.
Dane Cook
I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
Dane Cook
When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
Dane Cook
Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
Dane Cook
If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
Dane Cook
Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
Dane Cook
They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
Dane Cook
You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
Dane Cook
Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
Dane Cook