Quote

When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Shoes
Car
Come
Enough
Sometimes
Portion
Portions
Pants
Fortunate

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I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
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Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
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There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.
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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
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When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
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If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or in a coffee shop where they are doing open mice, anywhere you can perform even if that means starting your own open mic night - and be your own self.
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When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...
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I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.
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The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.
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I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
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Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
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Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to follow the crowds and not make independent decisions based on truly how you feel.
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I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.
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I would love to have acidy spit.
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I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.
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People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
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I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.
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