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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Enough
Sometimes
Portion
Portions
Pants
Fortunate
Shoes
Car
Come
More quotes by Dane Cook
I just get excited doing shows. Off stage I am actually very feeble and must be spoon-fed because my hands are too brittle.
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Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
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I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
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When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.
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I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.
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I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
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I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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I was being chased by a giant crab. That's not funny.
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There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.
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You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
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When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
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I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
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I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.
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Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
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There's estrogen running through my veins!
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Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ.
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It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.
Dane Cook
A couple of days back, I got into a car accident. Not my fault. Even if it's not your fault, the other person gets out of their car and looks at you like it's your fault: Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80!
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
Dane Cook
