Quote

They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Jesus
School
Used
Sunday
Littles
Thank
Little
Beat
Beats
Yeah
Nice

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I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
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If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
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I just get excited doing shows. Off stage I am actually very feeble and must be spoon-fed because my hands are too brittle.
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I'm a late-night guy.
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We all hope for breakthrough rebirth moments.
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I've lived (in LA) for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't anymore.
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I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
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Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.
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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
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I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or in a coffee shop where they are doing open mice, anywhere you can perform even if that means starting your own open mic night - and be your own self.
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