Quote

Dear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It's not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Stop
Semi
Acting
Civics
Girl
Photos
Used
Hot
Like
Boat
Drive
Dear
Taking
Civic

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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
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The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.
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I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
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Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ.
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
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I live my life like there's no yesterday.
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If my voice can resonate that way with kids, maybe it will resonate through 'Planes' as well, and they'll hear that little something that I'm giving to them, a performance that says to them, I want to try. It's all interconnected. I don't think it's thinking too deeply about it.
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I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.
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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
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I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.
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I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
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I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.
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I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
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