Quote

Dear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It's not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Acting
Civics
Girl
Photos
Used
Hot
Like
Boat
Drive
Dear
Taking
Civic
Stop
Semi

More quotes by Dane Cook

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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
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I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.
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I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow.
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If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or in a coffee shop where they are doing open mice, anywhere you can perform even if that means starting your own open mic night - and be your own self.
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
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I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.
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Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
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When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'
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I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
Dane Cook
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
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Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
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Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
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If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
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I've lived (in LA) for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't anymore.
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I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people.
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