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Dear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It's not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Like
Boat
Drive
Dear
Taking
Civic
Stop
Semi
Acting
Civics
Girl
Photos
Used
Hot
More quotes by Dane Cook
I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
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Hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside past the lips.
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You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.
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I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
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When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.
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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
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Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
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My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
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We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
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I would love to have acidy spit.
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Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?
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When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
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I've lived (in LA) for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't anymore.
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
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Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed!
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Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
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I get so into the moment.
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