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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Stars
Wrong
Turns
Father
Death
Luke
Right
Emperor
Thinking
Star
Like
Turn

More quotes by Dane Cook

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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
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Are there glass shards in my anus?!
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I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.
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There were times, earlier in my career, where I didn't have the wherewithal to self-edit, and I probably said things and pushed the limits to places where people might be put off. But that's truly part of developing as an artist.
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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
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I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
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You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
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I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
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I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
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You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.
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Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
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You need to open up your soul and have a weep-a-thon.
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I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.
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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
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