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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Like
Turn
Stars
Wrong
Turns
Father
Death
Luke
Right
Emperor
Thinking
Star

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I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
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There's estrogen running through my veins!
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
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If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
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When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...
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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
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Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
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Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed!
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I would love to have acidy spit.
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
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People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
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I'm a late-night guy.
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
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Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
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It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.
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